CroutonsOfDeath's game Reviews on Newgrounds

[Fate Machine 1.0]

Pure nonsense, but a fun distraction for a few minutes. Some were gut busting, some were just ninesensical and "bleh" but that's what you get with a random generator. I think I laughed the most when I became Frank Ash, the lubricated spoon destined to molest Arnold Schwarzenegger. I also once became a coke snorting mother, appropriately titled Coketits McGee, whose destiny was to relentlessly stalk German people. Probably with her lubricated coke spoon she named Frank Ash, and she's too coked up to realize that poor old Schwarzenegger is austrian and not germna... but that won't stop her!

[The Blind Swordsman]

That's actually rather neat! I guess I expected it to be an entirely April Foolsy type game (Like Segway of the Dead) considering the date but no this is an honest experiment and I rather like it. At first I thought it was just a joke and impossible, but then I noticed the shifting voice *slightly* and decided to put on my headphones instead of using my TV speakers lol. I have 7.1 headphones and I have pretty acute hearing, so this was a fun and interesting challenge! Glad to see an original idea!

[Burrito Bison Revenge]

This game is awesome!

I'm actually not too fond of Distance games, or at the very least I got rather tired of them - the last one I remember enjoying (And still do enjoy) was Kitten Cannon and that was a while ago. They are just usually the same, more or less. Yet this one has enough personality that it caught my attention, and it kept me playing because of the presence of an actual "goal" and the in depth upgrades system. This game is addictive as hell, and the habit is hard to kick. I also adore the art design and the charm the game has. Good show, sir! I hope to see more in the future! =3

[Hunt of HORROR]

Loved it, was a ton of fun and loved how varied the references were. I am going to make one Nitpick though: One of the questions was to find "Klaatu from The Day the Earth Stood Still" yet I was looking around clicking on guys in suits saying "I see gort, but where's Klaatu!" and then it turned out Gort was the answer. Yeah, shiny metal robot guy = Gort, not Klaatu. Klaatu was his master. Just sayin'!

[Lab of the Dead]

Interesting time waster

I ended up enjoying this more than I thought I would. A good example of the first impression not being the best, but leading into something quite a bit more interesting. It's surprising how addicting this game is - even when I was in a rut trying to get points and find new items and was starting to get weary of the pace, I kept playing anyways and found myself addicted and interested in how things would evolve with my specimen. The odd thing is, I actually felt bad when I finally tried out the pistol on my specimen and had to get a new one. Not only because my specimen looked like Bub from "Dawn of the Dead" (Underrated entry in the series! Also, I get the feeling this was inspired by :P) but also because I found myself weirdly attached to my zombie. It's like a really morbid tamagotchi, but with more to do and not a scam to take kids money and drive parents insane.

The artwork was great and the animations weren't bad either. Some were somewhat humorous as well, the passive reaction to the Kebab got a chuckle and tickled my love of dark humour a bit - as did some of the others. I'm far from done with it, but I am taking a break - but I found myself enjoying what I did play and while it certainly fits into "Time Waster" category; it's a damn good time waster with an interesting concept. Plus, even with the glut of zombie media out there right now it actually felt a little fresh (Maybe because it wasn't just another game where you shoot a bajillion zombies) whilst still appealing to my love of horror and the subject matter.

Good job!

Evil-Dog responds:

Thanks man for the detailed review :D
Glad you enjoy it so far!

[Rebuild 2]

I rarely give out tens...

It's kind of a policy of mine to retain "10s" for something I genuinely, without a doubt, find perfect. So it means something that this game can deserve a 10, and it deserves it quite a bit. I didn't play the first "Rebuild" because the idea didn't appeal to me at first, but I decided "ahh what the hell?" when I saw this one upped, so I decided it'd be worth it to check out. I just beat an easy game, and am ready to try a harder one already - that was quite addicting and very, very well crafted.

I probably should have figured it'd be a strategy/management type game, and had I known that from the start I probably would have been more attracted to the first one. I like those kinds of games and this is an extremely good example of a management strategy game, the resources are well balanced the core gameplay is solid, the learning curve has an incline but isn't too hard to figure out (Mastering is a larger challenge) and it avoids one of the biggest problems almost any management sim with a "happiness" meter - forcing you to spend a bajillion hours just making everyone individually happy, or else each individual will just go apeshit. That's a problem that comes with happiness meters usually, individuals have their own happiness meter affected by the cumulative one - and they turn into whiny little pricks that make the game more frustrating than fun to play.

It should also be stated that despite zombie games being every-goddamn-where, this one somehow manages to feel fresh - maybe because there really aren't any management/strategy zombie games out there, in fact even a regular zombie strategy game seems weird - I don't consider Tower Defense games strategy by the way, sorry so don't go listing them to me. It also had a very nice atmopshere, the music was absolutely fantastic and I really got immersed into the game and cared about the struggle to survive. Very intriguing title - and very, very fun. I'm already about to replay it - and that says something!

A rare, but well deserved 10/10
5/5
And a +fav!

[Stealing the Diamond]

Awesome!

That was awesome. Coincidentally enough, I played the other two a day or so ago and then saw this pop-up on StumbleUpon this morning. I laughed all the way, and surprisingly I am 110% forgiving of the use of memes - usually I kind of get annoyed when they are packed in, but you actually handled them with care; by genuinely tying (most but not all) of them into the events instead of them just randomly popping up meant they didn't feel forced, which is why I get tired of them. Fast. Plus the way you handled them were funny, and you had plenty of original jokes that were great too.

43 outcomes is a lot for an interactive movie thing like this, and that's pretty damned cool - a lot of effort and time must have gone into it and I respect that. Plus it's always nice to see stick figures compensate "art" with fluid animation, and a little personality to kind of lull the fact they are just sticks. I really enjoyed this and going medal hunting!

Also, to all the people having trouble with the "Joke" medal, I ain't going to spoil it outright but here's a hint: Remember to read the fine print whenever you use a product. I actually found it fairly quickly.

=)

PuffballsUnited responds:

This review was awesome!
I was actually worried that the memes would feel too lame and like I was trying too hard or something. Glad that's not the case. It makes me sad when people only get one ending because they're missing out on a third of the content.
Thanks again for the awesome review!

[Sieger: Level Pack]

Cool.

This review counts for the original and this pack.

I thought it was really good! I originally took it as a rip off of Castle Clout/Crush the Castle but it did have enough to distinct it from CtC. I think in some ways, I actually prefer this game - mainly for the glasshouse physics. Toppling things is fun, but actually smashing them apart is even more fun even if some of the structures are a bit hard to see shattering from even the strongest of stones.

The hostage element was also a nice addition; in CtC you really just cared about smooshing everyone and so you could get into a groove of just watching your slings, and not actually paying as much attention to the structure. The hostages made you pay a bit more attention and plan how you wanted to topple; not just where you wanted to toss your stuff.

The players pack had a lot of great levels - I loved all the levels with traps or poor hostages in danger; I think my favourite was The Bridge. That was so satisfying, lol. Get your kicks from running over innocent hostages? Better make sure your bridge ain't wooden.... :P

In fact a lot of the player pack levels are the reason I'm giving this a 9. Individually; I would have given the original a 7 and this one an 8. So I'm giving it a 9 (I don't give 10s unless it's genuinely perfect - just a reviewers policy.) and my only real complaint is with the difficulty. It was still challenging; especially some of the aforementioned "Stop the moving thing from killing the hostage" levels since they required good reflexes and wit - but it never really puzzled me for a long time on how to get the Gold. I breezed through both sets in only 40 minutes or so. At least every one of said minutes was entertaining.

I'm one of the only people on the planet without an iPhone or whatever, so sadly I can't buy the App version; but I probably would - and I'll definitely keep an eye out for any further NG sequels. Overall - Good job!

[Super Mario 63]

Best fan game I have EVER played!

I'm stunned. There are a LOT of Mario fan games out there; some good, some "meh," and some just fricken' horrid. Yet none of them came close to this one! I usually make it a policy not to give a 10 unless I genuinely found the game and/or movie to be perfect.

Well guess what? You are the first flash (Game or movie) to get a 10 since I started that policy! I have had a lot of fun with this game, both on its own merits and as a Mario game! It was a great idea to mix elements from Mario 64/Sunshine/Galaxy into classic 2D Mario platforming. Just like in Mario 64, a lot of the fun came from finding secrets and exploring; and adapting the move sets into a 2D plane created a great balance of more modern, action oriented platforming and old school hop n' bop; and maybe even a little Parkour with the physics.

You NEED to make a sequel man. I can tell a lot of work was put into this; but at least I can entertain myself with the level editor in the mean time. =) Thanks for this great Mario fan game! This actually felt professional.

[Reimagine :The Game:]

Good - simply not AS good.

The original "Games" were practically perfect, simple and ingenious. The third entry is good, simply not AS good. A lot of people have whined about the difficulty; but that's not really what irks me (Though that Bieber/Edward puzzle on the Boss' stage was annoying.) it's the humour.

I still laughed a fair amount in this one; but it felt like you were running out of ideas. You did all the memes/viral videos this series needed in "Hamlet" and "Epicroll" in Replaying :the game:. Memes can be funny if pulled off right, but this overdid it at times - I often got annoyed seeing troll and rage faces in place of your usual, much more cunning wit.

Thankfully there will still plenty of genuinely funny ones that kept the viral vids/memes to a lower level, and you did at least pull off some good pop culture references. My favourite game though had to B.P.: The Game. That was BRILLIANT. I about fell out of my chair watching a poor pelican being aggressively swabbed against a pool of oil and then burned to launch a madman in a top hat into the sky. Wikileaks was a top contender, as was the Teenage age group demographic one.

You also deserve credit for changing the gameplay up; by this point it would have been unwise to just vary the "Walk off of grassy platform" gag (Though I think you could milk maybe 2 or 3 good jokes out of it.) so the platforming thing worked out. The biggest problem I have with it though are some of the physical elements. Probably the worst examples being in Bisexual Musicians, Tea Party, and Obama/Wikileaks guy's puzzle in the Boss' level. To elaborate; stacking characters on top of characters was nigh impossible. I think maybe faithfully recreating the characters odd angles in the hitboxes was a bad idea; having rounded out edges would've made those parts less glitchy and genuinely annoying. Otherwise I didn't mind the difficulty; I felt it was part of the joke.

I had to flip a coin whether to give this an 8 or a 7, since I want to say "7.5" but we don't have a decimal system (Hey, whatever happened to the old NG formula of ratings based on scoring individual sections? That was a great system.) so it was a toughie; but I'm giving you an 8, since it landed on heads... then because I replayed "BP the game" and couldn't resist giving you an 8 for it alone.